impostorsyndrome | SIDEREAL IC INBOX.

You're still here.

[ It's a correction, as gently as she puts it. The Sirius Light isn't what interests her, not really; it really is only what it symbolizes for the two of them--the reason he wasn't killed on the spot for his "betrayal." Whatever power lies locked in it, she doesn't care. ]

And if this is the reason why, then I don't mind it. But it's not like I care about it, either... you're what's important to me.

[He's still for another moment, closing his eyes. Then he rolls onto his back again and reaches up for her, silently inviting with his arms.]

[ She moves to sink into his arms willingly, curling up against him soft and clinging. Her head settles on his shoulder, her legs tangling up with his, her breathing slow and steady. ]

I'll say it as often as you need to hear it from me. I promise.

[What else is there to say to that than to pull her into another kiss? This one is deep, and sweet, and lingering, the beginning of something more if that's what they both want. Or maybe just a nice long kiss to occupy themselves with for quite some time.]

[ It could be both. She's happy with one leading into the other, really. When he kisses her, she melts into it with a soft, pleased little sound, her body pressing even closer to his. One of her hands settles on his back, stroking in a slow, gentle up-and-down sort of gesture, tracing roughly the length of the Sirius Light's mark on his skin. ]

[He knows what she's doing there! There's something he likes about it. Is she soothing him? Reassuring? Or does she just kinda like it? He smiles against her lips thinking about that. . . . On a whim, he reaches for her hand, too, the one with her Command Spells, and rubs his thumb over the back of it, touching them without looking.]

Mm--

[ She jerks back from the kiss with a little gasp, her fingers flexing under his touch. ]

H-hey, that tickles--

—Sorry. Really? You're ticklish.

[Cute . . . he pauses, but he keeps his thumb pressed to the back of her hand, holding there.]

N-no! Yes? Only a little.

[ No one protests this much if they're not, but she's flushed and flustered, her fingers flexing in his grip, though she doesn't try to pull away. ]

Heh. Are you embarrassed about it? . . . Or maybe you think I'm gonna take advantage of it. I'm definitely thinking about it now.

[Well, now he does it again, because he wants to see her fluster some more. She's going to turn him into this kind of person, isn't she? Kadoc never thought he'd become this kind of person! It had seemed forever beyond his reach, or his desire! But boy can he not resist seeing her all flushed.]

Wh-what do you think--

[ Her hand tugs again, an automatic ticklish flinch, and her whole body wiggles now. There's a moment where she has to bite her lip. This is terrible. Who gave him this sort of permission?

(She did, and she's continuing to give it to him by not telling him no, but shhhhhh.) ]

I, I'm not for taking advantage of, you know...

You can be if you want.

[And he has a feeling . . . she just might want. Kadoc can relate. He, too, wants her to shamelessly take advantage of him. But as a mutual thing, where he gets to do it to her too, when they want that. It seems like a pretty good setup to him.]

That's--uh--

[ It's such a simple thing--you can be if you want--but it feels heavier than that. Ritsuka might not be quite as into self-denial as he is, but there's not a lot she usually gives herself permission for, even like this. The way he phrases it sounds as much like a an offer as it does advice. She can be if she wants! And if she does, she can trust him.

After a few seconds of mulling that over, she nods slowly. ]

I'd... like to try? With you.

. . . Yeah. Me too. . . . You know how I am. You can probably guess how I'd react if you took advantage of me in return.

[You know. She can guess. Surely by now she knows him well enough to intuit the reaction this soft masochist bottom boy would have to her ~taking advantage of him~,

He knows he's obvious, and is embarrassed enough to blush over it, but hey, she clearly likes it. Both him, the way he is, and she likes it too on her end, and so they can just both be into the same things and it's fine, right?]

...Yeah.

[ She can definitely guess what his response would be! And that's definitely intriguing; as much as she (really really) likes to be overwhelmed, there's a strong appeal to having the control in that scenario.

She tilts her head to press her lips to the corner of his mouth, lingering there when she speaks again, her voice a low murmur. ]

Do you want me to do that right now? I can.

. . . Do you want to?

[He's worried, for a flash, despite how surprisingly confident he's been with her in this so far—he's worried maybe she's just offering because she feels she has to. Maybe she's disappointed that he's a boy who likes that, and not just doing the same to her in turn. Is it okay for him to like it too? He leans into her lips, a little needy, uncertain.]

I want you to feel good.

[ She doesn't tease him for that; there's certainly a part of her that wants to do so--to call him silly, or laugh at his sudden uncertainty. For now, she swallows that down; maybe when this is a little less brand-new. Maybe after he feels more settled, when it feels less like he expects her to change her mind the moment he asks for something.

Her hand settles on his lower belly, her thumb stroking the line of hair that starts at his navel. ]

It'll be good for me, too. I promise.

—Mmmmm.

[He swallows hard again, leaning up just enough to watch her hand. That little gesture . . . it's so simple, but it gets to him. Hadn't it before, too? Not just when it was done to him, but in any context, there's something about it. Her hand there on him is new, though, and it gets his senses all tuned in to what she might do next with it.]

Yeah. Okay, I'd . . . I want that. I'll make it good for you, too.

I know.

[ She has confidence in that! It's been good so far! As he props himself up, she shifts closer, sliding her hand lower in deliberately slow degrees. Her lips press to his ear, her teeth catching briefly on the lobe, avoiding the metal there for now. When she speaks, her voice is a low pleased purr, a heated exhale right into his ear. ]

I want you to enjoy this... I want to take care of you.

[Oh nooooo. Oh no. This is another moment of very obvious "liking something more than he thinks he reasonably should and completely failing to hide it." Kadoc groans at both the sound and sensation of Ritsuka's voice in his ear, his body twitching against hers; there goes any hope of playing it cool about this!]

Ah—mm. Shit. Yeah, do it...

Yeah? Yeah, you like that?

[ This is more dirty talk than she can usually pull off--usually she hits this point and it's only vocalizations, not actual words, but frankly, she feels good about this. Who wouldn't enjoy something like this? There's a sense of power, certainly, but she's also making him feel good with it, and she's learning more about the things he likes in how he responds to her.

Her fingers close around him in a nice tight grip, squeezing before she starts to stroke, still slow and deliberate. ]

Which part? Tell me.

[At this point he's only half hard, maybe, his body still struggling to recover after before, but it's very motivated to make that recovery. Once her hand is on him and stroking him, that motivation is going to increase, fast. It's sensitive, and Kadoc has to gasp and bite his lip before he can answer, squeezing his eyes closed—but he likes that. Of course he likes it like that. Isn't this adjacent to what he'd asked for in the first place?]

Mmmmn—yeah. I, keep talking. You sound . . . I like it. You're so hot . . .

[This is also gradually dipping into more dirty talk than he ever imagined he'd be into, either, but you know what? He is.]

You're not even looking at me.

[ But she sounds deeply smug in saying it, a breathy exhale against his ear. A second later, she nips his ear again, tightening her grip on him when she feels his body rally. Nice. She's definitely into this. ]

Would you want to? I could sit on you. I'd make you keep your hands off me, but you'd have to look. I'd want you to see what I'm doing to you.

[It's a good thing Kadoc is beginning to get comfortable being vocal in this, because he has no choice now: he lets out a throaty, whining sound at her biting his ear, and then another louder one at I'll sit on you. Yes, please, absolutely, sit on him. Sit on him! He's not even sure yet how she means it exactly! There are so many ways she could sit on him and he wants every single one of them to happen!]

Y, yes! . . . Yes. You can sit on me all you want! O-on my face?!

[Wait, she probably didn't mean that if she wanted him to be looking at her? Oops, but it's out now!]

[ This time she does laugh, though it's a low, fond exhalation, almost a purr; to make up for it--or maybe to reward him for the suggestion--she speeds the motion of her hand, experimenting with letting her thumb catch the edge of that piercing to flick it. Will he like that...? She hopes so; even if this is his first time with another person, she has to assume he's experimented to some degree with himself. ]

On your face, huh...? Would you be able to see me, if I did that? I hope you're not saying that 'cause you wanna hide from me...

[ Not that she thinks this is the case, but also, this kind of teasing feels safe enough. He's so cute like this! How can she resist?! ]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject