impostorsyndrome | SIDEREAL IC INBOX.

Yeah, I'm here.

[Even now that they're done, for now, his voice comes out as a strange rumble. Ah . . . he can sound like this, huh? He can feel loose and lazy and heavy as he tucks his body against her, arms looping to hold her there. His lips can smile in a way that feels natural and not awkward or forced.]

Hey.

[ There's a pause as she blinks at him, slow and fond, then she giggles--a helpless spill of noise, beaming at him. ]

Hi. Look, we did it.

[TA-DA! They did it! He hiccups out a surprised laugh of his own at that very obvious statement, which is so simple as to appeal to him greatly in his current mental state. Shh, only stupid shit now!]

I . . . think we might've even been good at it. I'll let you confirm or deny.

Iiiiiii feel... really, really good.

[ She leans in enough to boop her nose against his, then back enough so she can see his face in its entirety. Only stupid shit now, which means little fleeting gestures like this. ]

I liked all of that. I'd definitely let you tie me up anytime you wanted in the future.

[By now he's laughing openly, though he muffles it into her shoulder a little, embarrassed at being so effusive. He doesn't know how to cope, okay!]

You really just jumped right back to that, huh? I guess I know how you really feel about it.

I'm just saying!

[ But she's also laughing, squeezing him a bit more tightly when he hides his face. She knows what you're doing there, Kadoc! You can't hide!! ]

Make a schedule. Let's pencil it in.

What, literally? Don't think I won't. Hell, you've got two men, we probably need to work out a timeshare kinda thing anyway.

[He's joking, still laughing under his breath, but he does lift his head over to crane and try to see where his phone went. Just in case he needs to start a new calendar of Girlfriend Time, which may involve a TDL of Girlfriend Kinks. Wow. What happened to his life?]

What, hey--

[ She flops a bit more onto him, playfully aggressive and starting to giggle again. ]

You think I can't handle two of you? Two is nothing compared to two hundred!

--Not like that, though.

Oh my god, don't say it like that.

[He just starts laughing again. You did this to him! You broke him! He feels ridiculously good, full of new things and a future he never would have imagined. . . . Though it does not involve him or her handling two hundred people, suggestively,]

I'm just saying!

[ But his laughter sets her off too, a set of giggles she can't quite bite back. There's no way she actually WANTS to handle two hundred people suggestively, but the theory is the same. She can handle it! She doesn't need no schedules! ]

[He bites her shoulder, not . . . especially suggestively, but there's only so much it can be not suggestive. Still! He pulls back quickly, feeling his whole body vibrate with the hum of happy pleasure, the mood between them.]

If you're saying you wanna handle us both at once, take that up with him.

[ It might not have been intended to be that suggestive, but it still works. Ritsuka jumps and yelps, her face going light pink as she shoves at him. It's still playful, but there's a little bit of genuine embarrassed... intrigue? Something under that. ]

I-I'm not gonna do something like that! That's a little much!

I'd say I thought you were the shameless one, but I know better by now. . . . He is, if anyone is. Anyway, I'm just teasing you.

[He opens his mouth to apologize, but stops himself. It's fine! It's probably fine. Instead he moves in to kiss her cheek. His own are warm too, because while he is teasing, it's not like he doesn't understand the particular undertone of his own bringing it up . . . more than once, at that.]

I'm fine if I'm warmed up...

[ Except, how much more warmed up can she get than this? Really? But she tilts her face for his kiss, accepting it with pouty good grace, before she curls up closer to him. ]

That's not the kind of thing I'd just talk to him about, though. Are you really joking, or is that something you'd be interested in? I need to know.

I . . . ngghh.

[Oh, now he has to think about it right here and now to her face. Or rather, he doesn't, because he knows the answer already. He just has to think about how to say it, right here and now, to her face.]

. . . Yeah, okay. I'd be interested. I feel weird as hell admitting this.

We can revisit it. Maybe for our anniversary?

[ She intends on having anniversaries, okay, she is In It For The Long Haul. This time, she's the one who kisses his cheek, curling up closer to him all nice and snug.

There's a pause, and then: ]

So, here's my other question. Why the piercing?

[AN ANNIVERSARY THREESOME?! He chokes a little, but then she moves on, so by the time he recovers he's on board with just assuming that was probably a joke and continuing the conversation. The conversation about his dick,]

—I just wanted to. But I know that's a cop-out answer. It's . . . it felt like a logical conclusion, in some stupid way. I started doing the piercing thing because I liked the aesthetic, and it was cathartic, and it looked good on me. But when you start getting into them, it's . . . there's a whole psychological thing.

[ IT WAS A JOKE, the kind of joke that she will not think much about until later, when it hits her that maybe she wasn't. But that's for Future Ritsuka to worry about; the Ritsuka here and now hums thoughtfully. Her hand smooths down his front, though she stops short of just taking him in hand, because that feels like a little too much? She doesn't even want it as a sexual thing, she's just so curious... ]

I guess... I only did my ears, and that was so long ago I don't even remember how it went. I was like five, so I probably cried a little.

[He watches her, blushing, and then mutters,]

. . . You can touch me if you want.

[Even if it's not sexual. It's okay! She's his girlfriend and it's his body! And there's some comfort in her even wanting to just casually touch him so intimately, even outside of a sexual context.]

A-anyway. There's something addictive about it when you start getting deeper into the scene. There are probably whole studies there on it, I dunno. There's the whole pain aspect if you're into pain, but I wouldn't say that's all or even most of it. It's not like the pain lasts long. There's a lot more to it. . . . The idea just got into my head one day, after I got my throat done, and eventually I decided to look into it. It turns out it's an easy piercing to do yourself.

...You did this to yourself?!

[ THAT'S REALLY HARDCORE, ISN'T IT...?!

Her head comes up in a little jerk to stare at him, but her hand drifts a little further down, resting on his lower belly now. She could reach him with just a bit more shifting, but every other thought has flown straight out of her head right now. ]

Yeah. That's pretty common with this piercing. You can just buy kits online. I'm guessing a lot of dudes like me would rather have a dick piercing than let a stranger near their dick with the tools.

[He has not done all of his own piercings, but this one . . . yeah, he hadn't been inclined to seek out any help. He watches her hand, and her face, gently amused.]

That just seems like a lot...?!

[ But she finally tears herself away from staring at him, propping herself up onto her elbow so she can reach the rest of the way down. There's no real sexual intent in her touch (for now) as she wraps her fingers around him, light and curious, lifting his cock up so she can get a slightly better look at the piercing. ]

You really did this to yourself, oh my god.

[It's . . . cute. Her doing that is embarrassing, but kind of cute? He's not getting hard or anything just from this much touch, especially after having already come (and how), so it's just kind of psychologically pleasant to see her hand on him like that. He props up to watch.]

It doesn't actually hurt as much as you're imagining. It was nothing compared to my neck.

I didn't even know people could do stuff like that to their necks until I met you...

[ She glances at him sidelong again; at this particular angle they're both at, she can't see his throat so clearly, but still. She knows it's there. ]

You're definitely years ahead of me in that department.

Heh. That implies that in a few years you're gonna be full of metal. . . . It might look good on you.

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